Hello!

Why a blog about finding my way? Well, like many of you, my life was changed drastically by the loss of a job. After 19 years of work for a very large Hotel/Timeshare organization, I was laid off at the end of January 2010.

The thoughts and emotions of grieving this loss were textbook and are still ongoing. At first, there was the shock, the hurt, the sadness, and some anger too...why me? What could I have said/done differently that might have made a difference? I know now, I have to just allow myself the time to work through all of these emotions. This is scary for more than just me. Explaining this to my elderly Mom whom we care for, and to my 18 & 11 year olds was pretty tough. Telling them "It will be fine" when I'm not completely there myself is not easy.

The first 2 weeks after, I felt like a kid skipping school...I went to the mall, but couldn't stay long because I half-expected someone to jump out from behind the clothing racks and point their finger at me and yell "AHA! We caught you...you're supposed to be at work right now!! Which is exactly how I felt...but really the person pointing the finger, was me.

Next up was what I liken to the "nesting phase" of a woman waiting to give birth...I ran through a long list of household projects, ran every errand I could think of, and even had a huge Garage sale (made about $400...so that's pretty cool) and got exhausted.

Then, came the depression and the desire to become a complete hermit...no make-up, not leaving the house, wanting to literally just hide from the world and the reality of no job and nothing on the horizon. Every task was too hard and nothing really mattered anyway. All the while, I was trying to do what everyone said to do, update the resume, target companies, network...yada, yada, yada...all of it just felt wrong.

Unlike many, I have been greatly blessed with a severance that can be stretched for about a year, but even with the luxury of a that time, I felt the clock ticking down and an urgency to make something happen.

So, after more than 135 applications, 8 first-round and 5-second round interviews, many heart-to-hearts with God, mentors, family, & friends, several sermons, books, long walks, long cries...I asked myself the question...WHAT NOW???

One of my mentors is authoring a book about surrendering to your calling. Reading the preview really struck a nerve...what IS my calling? So I asked the One who was doing the calling and I discovered that the times in my life when I felt the most joy, peace and purpose were when I was pouring myself into my friends, colleagues and family listening to them, coaching, and advising them with God's Word.

Is being a paid counselor my calling? I do it for free ALL the time :) I don't know...I've always thought that like many of the things I enjoy (cooking, cutting hair, singing, etc.), doing them for pay, would somehow make them less enjoyable.

So, here I am unemployed for the first time since high school and now I've come to the conclusion that I don't want to move away from my son, the rest of my family and my friends to find a job that has some meaning. I love the flexibility I have now to take my daughter to school, be there for my son as he learns life's new challenges (like what to do after a fender-bender), and just hanging out with my husband on his days off.

At the same time, I'm compelled to dedicate myself to helping people find a better way to work, a better way to lead, and a better way to live. So, I find myself taking steps to create my very own consulting practice - True Compass Consulting.

One quote from my mentor's book that is just perfect..."There's a fine line between exciting and scary"...it's a RAZOR-THIN line and I'm on it!!!

We 'll see how this story unfolds...